You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im six kinds of drunk right now
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
