It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
