North Korea, Best Korea!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
