I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
