Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
