There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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