bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
