Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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