if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
