You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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