next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize