ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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