I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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