i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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