He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
