my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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