Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
