And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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