Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
