i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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