Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
