i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
