This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
