omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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