I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
