Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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