OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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