I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
