What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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