I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
