The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize