So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
