I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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