Its about making memories worth repressing
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
