apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize