We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize