if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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