The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
