We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Who died my cat blue again?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
