This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
please come you make the beer taste better
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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