I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
