Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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