I hate your face
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
