I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
