my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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