i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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