Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
