I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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