wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
