It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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