i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
