That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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