week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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