would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i now understand why vodka
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
