I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
