Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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