only if we run a train.
done.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
