Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
