wat bout pragnant strippers??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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