it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
