Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
