I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
