Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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